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Is Infertility a Form of Trauma? What Most Clinics Don’t Understand

Fertility & Mental Health
May 02, 2025•5 min read

Title: Is Infertility a Form of Trauma? What Most Clinics Don’t Understand

By Liz Bancroft

"Why does a failed IVF cycle feel like a death you can't explain?"

It's a question I’ve heard from countless women—and felt in my own bones. It’s not just disappointment. It’s devastation. But while fertility clinics track follicles and hormone levels, few acknowledge the immense emotional fallout of this process. The truth is, for many, infertility isn't just sad. It's traumatic.

Clinically, trauma is defined as an emotional response to a distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Infertility fits the bill. The loss of control, the medical invasiveness, the identity rupture, the social isolation, and the constant ambiguity—it creates the perfect storm for trauma to take root.

And yet, we rarely talk about it that way.

What Trauma Can Look Like During IVF

The trauma of infertility doesn’t always show up as dramatic breakdowns. Sometimes it looks like:

  • Constant hypervigilance (checking for symptoms, spotting, temperature shifts)

  • Panic when a test is inconclusive or delayed

  • Emotional numbness after repeated failed cycles

  • Dread before appointments, even when nothing is technically "wrong"

  • Flashbacks during procedures that echo previous trauma (especially for those with histories of medical or sexual trauma)

  • Avoidance of medical appointments, fertility discussions, or emotional engagement with the process

  • Negative alterations in mood and cognition, such as persistent hopelessness, guilt, or feelings of detachment

  • Complex PTSD symptoms including:

    • Disturbances in self-organisation (difficulty maintaining routines or planning)

    • Affect dysregulation (intense emotional swings or numbness)

    • Negative self-concept (feeling broken, defective, or unworthy)

    • Disturbances in relationships (withdrawal from support systems, increased conflict)

    • Dissociative symptoms (feeling disconnected from one's body or surroundings, emotional numbing)

All of these can cause significant functional impairment in daily life, work, and relationships—but often go unrecognised in the fertility treatment setting.

IVF can trigger trauma symptoms even in those without prior diagnoses. For those who already carry trauma histories, it can reopen deep wounds.

The Neurodivergent Intersection

For neurodivergent women—particularly those who are autistic or ADHD—the risk of fertility-related trauma is even higher. Our nervous systems are often more reactive to uncertainty, overstimulation, and perceived threat.

Many neurodivergent women report that IVF processes push them into shutdown, burnout, or masking just to get through each step. They are also more likely to:

  • Struggle with communication styles that don’t align with standard medical systems

  • Experience sensory overload in sterile, noisy, bright clinic environments

  • Feel deep distress when plans change last-minute

  • Have difficulty self-advocating or questioning authority

  • Experience more pronounced dissociative symptoms, including emotional detachment and depersonalization, especially in high-stress environments

These experiences aren’t about being fragile. They are the result of a nervous system operating in survival mode.

Neurodivergent women often experience IVF differently—and more intensely—than their neurotypical peers. Here's why survival mode becomes the norm, not the exception:

Neurodivergent Experiences in IVF: Why It Hits Harder • Shutdown & Burnout Frequent masking and sensory overload lead to system collapse. • Communication Barriers Clinic systems rely on vague verbal info and rushed calls. • Sensory Overload Bright lights, noise, and unpredictability heighten distress. • Dissociation Emotional detachment or numbness, especially during procedures. • Difficulty Self-Advocating Fear of being seen as 'difficult' leads to silence. ^ Hyperreactive Nervous System Brains wired for survival mode, not unpredictability.

Neurodivergent experiences in IVF: sensory overload, communication gaps, and survival-mode nervous systems make an already hard journey even harder.

Why Clinics Miss It

Most fertility clinics don’t screen for trauma. Few ask about past psychological history, let alone understand how trauma might show up during IVF. There’s a narrow focus on "outcomes"—egg count, embryo quality, implantation rates—without considering what it costs someone emotionally to get there.

Patients are often told to "just relax," or praised for being stoic and resilient. But pushing through without acknowledgment of trauma only worsens emotional dysregulation. Many suffer in silence, wondering why they can’t seem to bounce back like others.

What Needs to Change

Trauma-informed fertility care isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. And it starts with recognizing that infertility is not just a medical crisis. It’s a psychological one.

Here’s what clinics and care teams can do:

  • Screen for trauma as part of intake, just as you would for PCOS or endometriosis

  • Offer consent-centered care with predictable, step-by-step explanations

  • Provide written instructions to reduce verbal overload and confusion

  • Train staff in neuroaffirming communication and sensory awareness

  • Design low-sensory environments that reduce harsh lighting, sound, and visual clutter to accommodate sensory sensitivities

  • Partner with trauma-informed coaches and therapists as part of the support ecosystem

You Are Not Overreacting

If you’ve ever felt broken, unhinged, or deeply alone in your IVF journey—this isn’t because you’re too sensitive. It’s because infertility is traumatic. And when that trauma isn’t acknowledged, it festers.

You deserve care that sees your body and your story. That understands your brain, not just your ovaries. That validates your grief, your fear, and your strength.

If you're carrying the emotional weight of fertility trauma, know this: you're not alone. And you're not weak for feeling it deeply. You are human. You are whole. And you are worth being cared for, completely.

Want to take the next step toward support that truly gets it?

You don't have to navigate this alone—especially not in survival mode.

References

  • Mark-Kushel, L., & Domar, A. (2018). The relationship between infertility, trauma, and stress: Exploring the emotional impact of assisted reproduction. Journal of Women’s Health Psychology.

  • American Psychological Association. (2022). Trauma and stressor-related disorders: Definitions and symptoms.

  • Raymaker, D., et al. (2017). Prevalence of trauma in autistic adults. Autism in Adulthood.

  • Courtois, C. A., & Ford, J. D. (2013). Treatment of Complex Trauma: A Sequenced, Relationship-Based Approach.

  • Crane, L., et al. (2021). Autistic people’s experiences of healthcare: A systematic review of studies. BMJ Open.

  • SAMHSA. (2014). Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services.

Liz Bancroft is a counselling psychologist, IVF mother, and late-diagnosed autistic woman. She is the founder of Hope Affirm Thrive, a neurodivergent-friendly IVF coaching program based in Western Australia.

 

Liz Bancroft is uniquely positioned to speak on the intersection of trauma, neurodivergence, and infertility. She is a registered counselling psychologist with over 14 years of clinical experience, including advanced training in EMDR, DBT, Schema Therapy, and trauma-informed care. She has worked extensively in both public health and private practice settings, supporting individuals with complex trauma, neurodevelopmental differences, and reproductive mental health concerns. Her professional expertise is further informed by her lived experience: Liz is a late-diagnosed autistic woman and a mother who conceived through IVF. Her dual perspective—as a clinician and patient—allows her to see firsthand the gaps in fertility care that disproportionately impact neurodivergent individuals. She is the founder of Hope Affirm Thrive, a neurodivergent-friendly IVF coaching program designed to provide emotional regulation tools and advocacy support for women navigating fertility treatment. Through her clinical practice, public speaking, and personal storytelling, Liz advocates for a more inclusive and psychologically safe fertility landscape.

Elizabeth Bancroft

Liz Bancroft is uniquely positioned to speak on the intersection of trauma, neurodivergence, and infertility. She is a registered counselling psychologist with over 14 years of clinical experience, including advanced training in EMDR, DBT, Schema Therapy, and trauma-informed care. She has worked extensively in both public health and private practice settings, supporting individuals with complex trauma, neurodevelopmental differences, and reproductive mental health concerns. Her professional expertise is further informed by her lived experience: Liz is a late-diagnosed autistic woman and a mother who conceived through IVF. Her dual perspective—as a clinician and patient—allows her to see firsthand the gaps in fertility care that disproportionately impact neurodivergent individuals. She is the founder of Hope Affirm Thrive, a neurodivergent-friendly IVF coaching program designed to provide emotional regulation tools and advocacy support for women navigating fertility treatment. Through her clinical practice, public speaking, and personal storytelling, Liz advocates for a more inclusive and psychologically safe fertility landscape.

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