EMDR for IVF: Healing Fertility Trauma and Rewiring Your Stress Response

How trauma-informed therapy can support your mind, body, and nervous system during fertility treatment

By Liz Bancroft

Trying to conceive through IVF isn’t just a medical journey—it’s an emotional marathon. From hormone shots to heartbreaking test results, the emotional toll of infertility and assisted reproduction can be staggering. What’s often overlooked in the fertility world is how profoundly psychological trauma and chronic stress impact the IVF experience—and how transformative trauma-informed therapy can be.

One powerful and growing tool for IVF patients is EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Originally developed to treat PTSD, EMDR is now being recognized as a therapy that doesn't just help the mind—it may also influence the body at the genetic level.

Let’s unpack how EMDR can help IVF patients emotionally and physiologically.

Why IVF Is More Than a Medical Procedure

IVF patients often experience both acute stress (from procedures or test days) and chronic stress (from years of trying, loss, or societal pressure). Emotional fallout can include:

• Feelings of failure or shame

• Panic during procedures

• Guilt over past choices

• Grief after miscarriage

• Relationship strain

• Constant fear of failure

Psychological distress isn’t just “in your head”—it's biologically consequential. Some studies suggest higher infertility-related stress may reduce IVF success rates [1]. And research is mounting to show that trauma therapies like EMDR don’t just reduce distress—they can literally change gene expression tied to inflammation and stress.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

Making sense of a powerful healing process—without the jargon.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a structured, evidence-based form of psychotherapy that helps people heal from traumatic or overwhelming experiences—without needing to relive every detail through talk therapy.

But it’s not hypnosis. It’s not woo. And it’s not about “just moving your eyes around.”

How it works

When something traumatic or distressing happens—especially in the context of infertility or IVF—your brain doesn’t always process it properly. Those memories, emotions, and body sensations can get “stuck,” replaying as anxiety, shame, panic, or dissociation. EMDR helps your brain reprocess those experiences so they no longer hijack your emotional responses.

Here’s what a typical EMDR session might involve:

• You and your therapist identify a memory, image, or belief that’s causing distress—like a failed embryo transfer, a traumatic ultrasound, or the belief “I’m broken.”

• While thinking about this, your therapist guides you through a form of bilateral stimulation (BLS). This might be side-to-side eye movements, gentle tapping, or alternating sounds in headphones.

• The BLS helps activate both sides of your brain, allowing it to “digest” the memory—so it can move from a raw, emotional place to a more settled and adaptive one.

You don’t need to talk through every detail of the event. EMDR respects your pace and boundaries, which is especially important for trauma survivors.

What it actually feels like

Many clients describe EMDR as “emotionally intense but relieving.” You may feel tired afterward, but lighter. The memory is still there—but it no longer spikes your nervous system every time you think about it.

Over time, the goal is for distressing beliefs like:
❌ “I’ll never be a mother.”
❌ “It’s my fault.”
❌ “I can’t cope.”

To shift toward:
✅ “I did the best I could.”
✅ “My body isn’t broken.”
✅ “I can face this with support.”

Common misconceptions about EMDR (and the truth):

• “It’s only for PTSD.”
  Nope. EMDR is effective for anxiety, grief, infertility trauma, medical trauma, phobias, and more.

• “It’s too intense to do during IVF or pregnancy.”
  Not true. A skilled EMDR therapist can adapt the pace, focus, and techniques to meet your needs—even during sensitive periods.

• “It’s a quick fix.”
  EMDR is powerful, but it’s not magic. It works best when it’s grounded in a safe therapeutic relationship, proper preparation, and realistic pacing.

• “It’s only used in one-on-one therapy.”
  Not always. EMDR can also be delivered in group formats, workshops, and coaching settings using modified protocols—especially helpful for communities like IVF patients who benefit from shared healing without oversharing personal details.

But here’s what’s groundbreaking: EMDR doesn’t just help you feel better. It might help your body function better too.

New Evidence: EMDR May Impact Gene Expression

A recent 2024 study by Silva et al. investigated whether trauma-focused psychotherapy (TF-CBT and EMDR) could lead to biological changes in patients with treatment-resistant depression and a history of early trauma [2].

Here’s what they found:

• EMDR led to significant changes in DNA methylation—chemical modifications that control gene expression.

• These changes affected genes involved in inflammation, immune response, and psychiatric vulnerability (e.g. TNF signaling, S100A8, LTA, GFI1).

• The results suggest that EMDR may reduce inflammation-related gene activity, supporting the idea that trauma healing isn't just psychological—it’s biological.

Why This Matters for IVF

Chronic psychological stress has been shown to disrupt inflammatory balance, immune function, and reproductive hormones—all of which are critical during IVF [3]. By regulating inflammation at the genetic level, EMDR may support a more receptive physiological environment for conception.

Translation? EMDR might help your body be more ready for pregnancy—not just your mind.

How EMDR Helps IVF Patients

EMDR Can Support IVF Patients By:

• Healing trauma: miscarriage, medical trauma, past IVF failures.

• Reducing anxiety: especially anticipatory anxiety before tests or procedures.

• Rewriting beliefs: like “I’m broken” or “This is hopeless.”

• Managing daily triggers: like seeing pregnant women or navigating insensitive comments.

• Preparing for future stress: using mental “rehearsal” techniques to stay grounded.

By shifting how trauma is stored and interpreted in the brain—and possibly the body—EMDR offers IVF patients a powerful tool to reclaim emotional balance and physical readiness.

Common EMDR Targets for IVF

Therapists work with clients to target emotionally loaded memories, beliefs, and triggers. Common IVF-related EMDR targets include:

• Past: infertility diagnosis, failed transfers, losses

• Present: social comparison, clinic appointments, fear of failure

• Future: imagining life without a child, future procedures

• Core beliefs: “I’m a failure,” “I’m alone,” “I don’t deserve happiness”

These are processed in a controlled, titrated way that builds safety and emotional resilience.

What About Between Sessions?

EMDR therapy includes self-regulation tools to use between sessions or during the IVF rollercoaster:

• Butterfly Hug: rhythmic tapping on shoulders to self-soothe.

• Safe Place Visualization: a mental haven for panic moments.

• “Container” Technique: mentally “storing” anxious thoughts for later.

• Bilateral Audio or Tapping Apps: calming tools during stressful waits.

EMDR During IVF or Pregnancy? Yes, With the Right Therapist.

Some mistakenly believe EMDR should be avoided during IVF or pregnancy. In truth, EMDR can be safely and effectively adapted for patients during any stage—especially when it can prevent unresolved trauma from snowballing into perinatal anxiety or depression [4].

An EMDR-trained, fertility-informed therapist will adjust pacing and techniques to match each patient’s needs, ensuring emotional safety during the process.

Final Thoughts

Infertility can create deep emotional wounds—but you don’t have to carry them forever. EMDR offers a research-backed, trauma-informed way to heal the mind, regulate the body, and reclaim your path forward.

Whether you're in the middle of a cycle, taking a break, or processing past losses, EMDR can help you feel calmer, stronger, and more in control.

It’s not just about increasing the odds of pregnancy. It’s about increasing the odds that you stay whole—no matter what the outcome.

References

1. Greil AL, McQuillan J, Lowry M, Shreffler KM. (2011). Infertility treatment and fertility-specific distress: A longitudinal analysis. Social Science & Medicine, 73(1), 87-94.

2. Silva, R. C., et al. (2024). DNA methylation changes in association with trauma-focused psychotherapy efficacy in treatment-resistant depression patients: A prospective longitudinal study. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 15(1), 2314913. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008066.2024.2314913

3. Rooney KL, Domar AD. (2018). The relationship between stress and infertility. Dialogues Clin Neurosci, 20(1), 41–47.

4. Sandstrom MJ. (2020). EMDR and perinatal trauma: Considerations for pregnancy and fertility-related therapy. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 14(3), 122–130.