What If It’s Not “Unexplained Infertility”—But Undiagnosed Autism?

By Liz Bancroft, Psychologist & IVF Coach

You’ve been told your infertility is “unexplained.”
Your bloods are “fine.” Your AMH is “average.” Your tubes are “open.”
But you’ve still ended up in the IVF clinic.

And deep down, you know there’s something else going on—something no one’s naming.

Maybe what you’ve been carrying isn’t just unspoken grief or stress.
Maybe it’s not just “bad luck.”
Maybe the missing piece of your fertility story is something no one ever thought to screen for:

Undiagnosed autism.

IVF Research Keeps Looking at the Baby. What About the Mother?

Here’s what we do know from research:

• Autistic children are slightly more likely to be born via IVF, particularly when intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) is used (Sandin et al., 2013).

• Some studies have linked hormonal treatments or embryo manipulation to increased autism risk in offspring(Bay et al., 2013; Chou et al., 2023).

• Others blame parental age, perinatal complications, or epigenetic mechanisms (Modabbernia et al., 2017).

But here’s what those studies don’t ask:

“What if the mother is autistic, too?”
“What if she’s always been autistic—undiagnosed, mischaracterized, and told she’s ‘too much’?”
“What if that’s why she needed IVF in the first place?”

Because here’s the thing: we know autism is highly heritable (Gaugler et al., 2014).
We know women and people assigned female at birth (AFAB) are chronically underdiagnosed due to masking and gender bias (Hull et al., 2020).

And emerging evidence shows that autistic women are more likely to experience conditions that impact fertility.

The Autism–Infertility Link Is Hiding in Plain Sight

Let’s connect the dots:

• Autistic women are more likely to have PCOS—a major contributor to infertility. In a population-based study, women with PCOS were 59% more likely to have a child diagnosed with autism (Kosidou et al., 2016).

• Chronic pain conditions like endometriosis are also more common in autistic women, although research is still emerging (Gupta et al., 2022).

• Delayed childbearing is more common among autistic women, who may experience social, sensory, and relational challenges that delay or complicate family planning (Pohl et al., 2014).

• Autistic individuals experience higher rates of sensory sensitivity, alexithymia, immune dysregulation, and chronic stress—factors that may influence reproductive health (Lai et al., 2019).

So when studies show that children born from IVF are slightly more likely to be autistic...
we have to wonder if what we’re seeing is not caused by IVF at all.

It may simply be that more autistic women are ending up in fertility clinics—and no one’s talking about it.

Could This Be You?

You may never have been diagnosed.
You may not fit the stereotype.
But if you’re reading this with a gut-deep oh my god, let’s keep going.

You might be an undiagnosed autistic woman if:

• You’ve always felt out of sync with your peers—too much, too intense, too sensitive.

• You were a high-achiever with strong justice values, lifelong special interests, and deep caregiving instincts.

• You use formal, direct, or precise language—and have been called bossy, cold, or aggressive for it.

• You crumble under vague feedback, chaotic environments, or shifting timelines.

• You’ve been labelled high-maintenance, demanding, dramatic, or “not coping well.”

In reality?

You’re principled. You’re organized. You’re efficient.
You’ve probably been carrying everyone else’s load for years.
And now, in the IVF process, your system is finally buckling—not because you’re weak, but because the system wasn’t designed for your brain.

IVF Wasn’t Built for Neurodivergent Bodies or Minds

IVF is cognitively, emotionally, and sensorily intense.

• Clinics run late, speak in metaphors, and expect gratitude for ambiguous answers.

• The lights are bright. The instructions are vague. The paperwork is overwhelming.

• Protocols are rigid, options are underexplained, and your feedback is often dismissed.

For undiagnosed autistic women, this experience can mimic or trigger:

• Shutdowns

• Meltdowns

• Panic attacks

• Somatic symptoms

• Communication breakdowns

And too often, instead of being met with compassion, you’re met with:

“You’re not coping.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Just trust the process.”

But trust is hard when the process is opaque—and your brain thrives on clarity, structure, and informed choice.

A Different Way Forward

If you’ve made it this far and thought, This might be me—that’s not coincidence. That’s insight.

This isn’t about labels.

It’s about making sense of your experience so you can get the support you actually need.

Understanding your neurodivergence allows you to:

✔️ Personalize your care—emotionally and medically
✔️ Reduce overwhelm and prevent IVF burnout
✔️ Advocate for clarity and consistency from your care team
✔️ Access fertility supports that respect your nervous system
✔️ Finally exhale—and say, “Oh. It was never me. It was never all in my head.”

Where I Come In

This is why I created Hope Affirm Thrive—a neuroaffirming, trauma-informed IVF support program designed for women who don’t fit the cookie-cutter “good patient” mold.

If you’re always the one asking the hard questions, holding it all together, and feeling like you’re drowning quietly while everyone else is coasting?

You’re my people.

Inside the program, you’ll get:

• Sensory-friendly routines and grounding tools

• Emotional regulation and grief processing strategies

• Advocacy scripts and checklists for IVF appointments

• Tools to help your brain and body feel safe enough to keep going

Or start with...

Download the Free IVF Mental Health Survival Kit
Get sensory-friendly tools, nervous system calm strategies, and advocacy scripts for those overwhelming clinic moments—all in one supportive, neuroaffirming guide.
👉 Download it here

Want a more structured plan before treatment starts?
Grab the Ultimate IVF Pre-Treatment Prep Guide—your no-fluff, step-by-step roadmap covering medical prep, emotional readiness, and practical home setup tips.
👉 Get the guide

Final Thought

We keep asking:

“Why are IVF babies more likely to be autistic?”

Maybe the better question is:

“Why are autistic women more likely to need IVF—and why aren’t we supporting them?”

Let’s stop calling it “unexplained.”
Let’s start telling the truth.
Let’s start seeing you.

References

Bay, B., Mortensen, E. L., Hvidtjorn, D., & Kesmodel, U. S. (2013). Fertility treatment and risk of childhood and adolescent mental disorders: Register based cohort study. BMJ, 347, f3978. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.f3978

Chou, W.-C., Chen, Y.-H., Lin, H.-C., & Lai, H.-C. (2023). Association between assisted reproductive technology and neurodevelopmental outcomes: A nationwide cohort study in Taiwan. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 53, 3155–3166. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-022-05649-0

Gaugler, T., Klei, L., Sanders, S. J., et al. (2014). Most genetic risk for autism resides with common variation. Nature Genetics, 46(8), 881–885. https://doi.org/10.1038/ng.3039

Gupta, T., Srivastava, A., & Sharma, D. (2022). Endometriosis and autism: Exploring the links. Frontiers in Global Women’s Health, 3, 884660. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2022.884660

Hull, L., Mandy, W., & Petrides, K. V. (2020). Behavioural and cognitive sex/gender differences in autism spectrum condition and typically developing males and females. Autism, 24(6), 1392–1406. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361320909176

Kosidou, K., Dalman, C., Widman, L., Arver, S., Lebret, P., & Magnusson, C. (2016). Maternal polycystic ovary syndrome and risk for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and autism spectrum disorder in offspring: A population-based cohort study. Molecular Psychiatry, 21, 1441–1448. https://doi.org/10.1038/mp.2015.183

Lai, M. C., Lombardo, M. V., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2019). Autism. The Lancet, 392(10146), 508–520. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(18)31129-2

Modabbernia, A., Velthorst, E., & Reichenberg, A. (2017). Environmental risk factors for autism: An evidence-based review of systematic reviews and meta-analyses. Molecular Autism, 8, 13. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13229-017-0121-4

Pohl, A. L., Crockford, S. K., Blakemore, M., Allison, C., & Baron-Cohen, S. (2014). A comparative study of autistic and non-autistic women’s experience of motherhood. Molecular Autism, 5(1), 27. https://doi.org/10.1186/2040-2392-5-27

Sandin, S., Nygren, K. G., Iliadou, A., Hultman, C., & Reichenberg, A. (2013). Autism and mental retardation among offspring born after in vitro fertilization. JAMA, 310(1), 75–84. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2013.7222